By Buddy Johnson

We missionaries like to write about the great victories in the lives of the men we work with in foreign countries. Most are stories of men who are pastors, preachers, and leaders who have risen from the filth of their worlds to great positions in our Lord’s service. However, most of the men we work with continue to live in a world of struggle with a great desire to be faithful servants of Jesus. Some of their stories reveal the reality of difficulties as they battle to overcome their surroundings and the past lives which haunt them every night and day. I became acquainted with such a man about ten years ago in a church planting conference in Ecuador.  Through the years I have witnessed the struggles and victories which are daily realities in his life.  Please, before we pass judgment on men like this one, let’s admit that even the most mature among us continue to war against the powers of darkness. The following is his personal testimony:

My name is Ivan and this is my testimony. I was born in a home where everything was apparently normal. However, when I was seven, my mother died, and due to his pain and loneliness, my father secluded himself in work and alcohol. We seldom saw him and we eight siblings had to try to survive any way we could. We had little to eat and never carried a lunch to school. We were alone and every day the pain became stronger. The few times our dad came home, he was drunk and mistreated us horribly. Each one of us had to survive any way we could. 

The saddest days of our lives were when other mothers bathed, dressed, and gave presents to their children on their birthdays or other festive occasions. I remember that we just closed ourselves in our small house and cried in our own pain. I, being alone and without guidance, fell into a world that offered me things I never had and friends who apparently understood me because they came from homes very similar to mine, which were dysfunctional and sad. 

We began to drink and run around in the streets. It was all a lot of fun. We cared for each other and believed that we would become ‘somebody’ in this world. This friendship made me feel important and that I was ‘worth something.’  As time passed, I became a mere bum and at the age of 13 I was imprisoned in a correctional institution. It became a habit to leave and re-enter this reformatory, and I never noticed that my drug addiction and alcoholism were more than an escape from my constant pain. I was stabbed and left to die but somehow survived, and everyone thought this would be the event that would change my life. The opposite was true. I became more bitter, filled with hate, and more addicted!

During this time I met a girl, and in this nightmare, I had two kids and began to repeat the pattern I had lived with Dad. I lost my little family and once again I felt alone and abandoned. I was in prison for a year and each night I would cry and ask myself the same question: “Where is God and why do I have to live this miserable life? Why did I grow up without a mother and why can’t I be like other people?” It dawned on me one day that I was a worthless, homeless indigent. I tried to take my own life many times and each time I became crazier, and I hoped I would not wake up every time I went to sleep.

I lived this miserable life for many years until I became very ill. For the first time in many years I stopped taking drugs and was sober for 15 days. During this time I met my wife who gave me hope to finally change my terrible lifestyle. However, this hope did not last long and once again the nightmare returned and now I was not alone in this suffering, but my wife suffered as she saw how I was destroying my life. Our first son was born and once again I began to think that I had to change and become a different man. It wasn’t so. Even though I loved them, I didn’t know how nor could I give them a better life. 

In this desperate time of looking for help, I discovered NA (Narcotics Anonymous). I was interned in many clinics but nothing helped my addiction. Then one night I awoke crying without hope, and when I saw my son and wife suffering because of me and thinking about the future that awaited us, I remembered that someone had told me that Jesus could change my life! This was the only hope I had left. From the darkness I had created, I cried, “Jesus if you say you can change my life, I am going to trust you!”

A desire was born in me to know Jesus. It wasn’t easy, but we began our search. Then one Sunday in a small church, for the first time in my life, I had an encounter with Jesus, my Savior. It has not been easy to walk in the Way, but my life has never been the same.  Since then, I have fallen many times and have wanted to return to that horrible life, but in pain I learned that my life doesn’t belong in that pit. I attend the It’s For You Jesus Baptist Church.  My wife and I have been married 22 years and we have two sons. I know that I was a slave but now I am free. I know that I was dead but now I have life. Now I understand the plan God had for my life in Jesus. I understand that it is by grace that I have been given this life and that by grace I must give. The Lord has placed a love in my life to present Jesus, my Savior, to others.  My favorite verse is “He who believes in me, though He be dead, yet shall he live!” Amen!

Ivan presently is being disciplined by the church but is faithfully taking Biblical steps to be reinstated. He and I named 20 people whom he personally has led to faith in Christ and attend our BMA church in Ecuador.  Most of them have been baptized in the church and others are to be baptized soon. Ivan’s honesty and love for our Lord is very evident. Every day of his life he fights a real war. He knows that Jesus is his only hope. His wife directs the children’s ministry in the church. I painfully share his story and ask you who read this to pray for him and many like him all around the world who are fighting the Spiritual War and know in whom lies the Victory.